Wedding-Gift Whoops

Dear Annabel,

I recently attended the wedding of a close friend’s son. Unfortunately, I let my husband fill out the check and to my surprise found out that he only gave $50.

I feel awful about this. How can I make this up to the couple?
– Embarrassed

Dear Embarrassed,

Don’t worry, this little gaffe is very easy to fix — arguably even more so because you’re dealing with the children of close friends.

At the moment, the bride and groom are probably honeymooning, after which they’ll return home to a tower of gifts. Obviously the groom will recognize your names, but the bride will most likely think to herself, “Very nice. I’ll be sure to write them a note.” Or, “Wait, which couple are they, again?”

My point is that you’ve caught them during a very busy time. I’m sure no one is scoffing over the perceived meager amount.

That said, you can easily remedy the situation by starting from scratch. Either choose a gift from their registry or write a new check. Enclose a note that delivers your message with a wink:

Hubby and I had a small marital miscommunication – this is your real wedding gift!

We’re so thrilled for the two of you. Thank you for including us in your lovely wedding. We wish you a lifetime of happiness.
Lots of love, Jane and John

Notice I didn’t mention anything about stop payments or tearing up the original check. The couple will simply add whatever you send to the aforementioned pile of gifts, which includes your initial $50. Eventually you’ll receive a thank-you note that acknowledges whatever you gave them in the aggregate.

In the meantime, feel free to vent to the groom’s mother about how you’ll never again put hubby in charge of wedding gifts. 🙂

Graciously yours,


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