Styled By Jimmy Dean

Wanna gain 5 pounds fast? It’s easy. Just zip yourself into a minidress that’s as snug as sausage casing!

Now obviously, Megan Fox isn’t fat. She probably weighs 92 pounds after Thanksgiving dinner and two slices of pecan pie. But in a dress this short and tight, her last name might as well be Kardashian.
Red Carpet Style Tip #117: Clothes that fit properly are always more flattering.
This is the kind of thing your mama is supposed to teach you, which leads me to believe Mrs. Fox was asleep at the wheel. According to IMDB, her family is from Nashville. They really ought to know better.
If you’re reading this, Megan, here are a few haute tips for next time:
1. When a garment is too small in one area, go up a size, then have the rest of it altered to fit you.
2. Know what works for your figure in terms of length. An extra inch and a half would have helped this dress tremendously.
3. Don’t wear anything you have to constantly tug on or suck in. You’re not fooling anybody.
4. Rock the right undergarments. Lots of ladies swear by Spanx, which I personally can’t stand. Still, you can bet your booty I know when to put on a slip.
Can’t wait to see what everybody’s wearing at the Emmy Awards!
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