Shower Skirmish

Dear Annabel Manners, 

This girl and I are throwing a baby shower for our mutual friend. I don’t know her that well and I think her ideas for the party are tacky and gross! 

The worst one is this: she wants to put a “Babies R Us” business card in the invitation that says where our friend is registered. I think that’s bad manners. Especially since the invitation already says “In lieu of a card, please bring a children’s book signed with a special message to the baby.” Also her idea. 

Did I mention the invitations are Winnie-the-Pooh themed and have GLITTER on them? 

Help. 

MJ, Montecito

Dear MJ,

 

You poor thing. Whatever happens, be sure to thank your mother. That lady raised you right!

As a general rule, invitations should never contain registry information. Here’s how it ought to work: 

1. You receive a lovely invitation in the mail. (Ideally, one that’s not glitter-encrusted. Ahem.)
2. When you call to R.S.V.P., simply ask your hostess where the bride or mommy-to-be is registered. 

Done. 

Now to address the children’s book issue. Effectively, you and your co-hostess are insisting that all guests show up with a gift from the registry AND a book inscribed with a sappy sentiment. That strikes me as borderline greedy, especially in troubled economic times. 

While I like the idea of starting a library for baby, I think it should be limited to showers in which the whole event has a storybook theme. (This would be terrific for a mom who’s having, say, her third baby. She already has all the accoutrements, but her friends still want to get together and celebrate the new arrival.) 

I’m afraid you’ll have to compromise on a few things and drown your sorrows in petit fours. My advice is to put your foot down on the registry thing and grin and (pooh) bear the rest.Graciously yours,

ANNABEL MANNERS

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