As I’ve hinted before, I secretly long to perform taste makeovers.
I can just imagine being hired by a celeb in need of a hasty image overhaul. Discretion would be guaranteed, though I’d cheerfully sign a non-disclosure agreement to satisfy jumpy managers and publicists.
Take, for instance, Aubrey O’Day, a pop singer from the group Danity Kane.
Now clearly, Aubrey is no Audrey. She’d never show up to an event in a little black dress, cute shoes and a string of pearls, so there’s no sense in trying to impose my personal aesthetic upon her.
If she and I were working together, I would:
1. Keep the essence of this look. (I know. I know.)
2. Try to determine what she loves most about it.
3. Gently tone down the rest.
Perhaps, for example, she’d be willing to choose between the streetwalking neckline and the Easter egg-colored dog. Incorporating one of those things makes a statement and lands her in magazines. Incorporating both screams, “DESPERATE! STRUMPET! INCOMING!”
(It looks to me like this poor, put-upon puppy is trying to make a break for it, so maybe we have our answer.)
If things were going swimmingly and Aubrey happened to be in a listening mood, I’d also push for a trip to the hair salon to remedy those inky black roots. Everything else — the trendy feather headband, gold shimmery stuff on her chest, an entire pencil’s worth of eyeliner — could stay.
Then I’d come straight home, pour myself a huge glass of wine and call Mama Manners. All in a day’s work!