Milk It, Mama

(Note: CHB is an acronym for a friend who’d prefer to remain anonymous.)

CHB: My neighbor just had twins! And honey, you ought to see the push present….

ME: The what present?
CHB: It’s a piece of jewelry husbands give their wives to thank them for being fat and sick and pregnant for the better part of a year. How do you not know about this?
ME: But what about the baby? Isn’t that the present?
CHB (sighing heavily): Clearly you’ve never been married.
This brings us to M.I.A., the about-to-pop pop star pictured here. We’re talking about somebody who waddled down the red carpet (in approximately 320 yards of ill-advised electric blue fabric), then performed at the Grammy Awards on her due date.
I can’t get behind the polka dots, but one thing is certain.
This woman deserves a diamond!
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