Gift Etiquette For Second Weddings

Dear Annabel,

I live in L.A. and I am attending the wedding of a good college friend in Cleveland this summer. For the groom (32), this is the second marriage. What is the gift etiquette on second marriage? Do I not give a gift at all? Do I give a smaller gift to match the smaller second wedding? Do I go all out like I did for the first wedding? It is the first marriage for the bride. I will already be spending quite a bit of money getting to Ohio for the second time. What do you think?

Dear C,

Wedding presents are about celebrating the couple and sharing your excitement about their new life together. Technically you don’t have to send a gift for the second round, but I would do it anyway.

Silver Napkin RingsDo your friends have a registry? If so, you can take a look and choose something in a price range you’re comfortable with. (No need to send an entire place setting of Vera Wang china, etc.)

As the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts. Theater tickets, a special bottle of wine, or a year of Netflix might be more appropriate for people who already have all the traditional wedding gear. (Check out this article for more ideas on creative gifts.)

Alternatively, you could also join forces with someone else who will be attending this groom’s wedding for the second time. A lovely gift from both of you would be perfectly acceptable.

Have fun at the wedding!

Graciously yours,


P.S. The monogram-able napkin rings pictured above can be found here.

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