Celebrity Intervention: Jessica Simpson

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome AnnabelManners.com alumna Jessica Simpson, shown here in a sweater the size of Canada and no pants. If you believe the gossip sites, she chose this getup for a recent family photo shoot.

Stranger still, the pop-star-turned-merchandise-mogul seems to really like the thing. The green monster made another sinister appearance at LAX last month, this time (mercifully) paired with jeans.

Now, obviously Jessica is a very cute girl who has a zillion dollars at her disposal. It’s high time she hired a fashion professional to:

  • Wrestle her to the ground
  • Forcibly remove said sweater
  • Teach her about the perils of over-sized clothing on short people
  • Purge her closet of mom jeans, tight dresses, and any other ill-advised knits

My pick? Celebrity stylist Britt Bardo, who:

  • Has worked with Jennifer Lopez (therefore understands curves)
  • Grew up in the Midwest (thus will relate to Simpson’s down-home roots)
  • Now resides in Los Angeles (and can be at Chez Simpson in 20 minutes)

Jessica, honey, I know blind dates can be daunting, but give Britt a chance.

I predict you’ll have a long, happy relationship and wonder why you didn’t meet years ago!

No Comments Yet
  1. Perhaps, Annabel your just jealous that even in "ugly clothes" Jessica Simpson still looks way better than you do in nice clothes.

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