Car Etiquette

Nobody makes me laugh quite like Mama Manners.

This woman is a force of nature in Chanel flats. The other day, she casually remarked that she’s in the market for her own personal set of orange traffic cones.
Why? So she can whisk them out of her trunk and park anywhere she wishes in metro Atlanta, naturally.
She’s joking (we think), but she does have a point. Some people have no manners when it comes to parking.
The holidays are fast approaching. Here’s how to keep things sane (and civil):
1. Never hog up two spaces when one would suffice. Whether out of haste or laziness, certain drivers are unable (or unwilling) to stay within the lines. This is not cool.
2. Don’t try to wedge your enormous SUV into a tiny space marked “compact.”
3. When parallel parking on the street, be economical. Make sure you haven’t inadvertently sabotaged the chance for one more car to fit on the block.
4. Protect your car-ma and open doors with great care. If you scratch or dent another vehicle, someone will inevitably do the same thing to you. Also: don’t try to rationalize this based on the make, model, or year of the car next to yours. Ahem.
5. Play fair. No matter how much you want a coveted space at Whole Foods, the person who got there first (and turned her blinker on triumphantly) scores the spot.
6. It’s a parking lot, not a hockey rink. Rise above tacky behavior like fist-shaking, obscenities shouted through open windows, and nasty notes on windshields. (Withering glances are OK, though. Sometimes that’s just the thing.)
And hey, if all else fails, orange cones are a legitimate option. I just discovered they’re priced to move at Home Depot. Who knew?
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