Call Of The Wild

If you’ve flipped through a fashion magazine this fall, you’ve probably noticed that animal prints are among the season’s top trends. From Tory Burch to Gucci, countless designers are seeing spots.

All this I can abide, but I feel it’s my duty to inform readers of three alarming new trends just waiting to pounce.

1. Say hello to SpiritHoods, quite possibly the most ridiculous fad of all time. These faux-fur accessories are manufactured right here in Los Angeles — the better to guard against our brutal southern California winters. (Oh, and if you think Mr. Panda Bear is funny, don’t miss the line for ladies.)

2. According to the New York Times, deodorant, daily showers, and frequent shampooing are all on the decline. Welcome to the jungle!

3. Naturally, certain outre celebrities are doing their beastly best to stay on trend. Paris Hilton spent Halloween dressed as a Native American floozy, while Miley Cyrus recently took an enthusiastic walk on the wild side.

Thank heaven for Louis Vuitton, whose fall offerings remain steadfastly ladylike.

Preach on, L.V.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be defiantly soaking in a bubble bath. I’ve always been a bit of a wild thing.

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