Alarming New Trend

As you might have heard, Ms. Lindsay Lohan recently launched her own line of leggings, which includes a woefully unattractive pair of ankle gloves.

(I wonder if anyone will buy her wares? Here in Hollywood, leggings are so tired that fashionistas have to wear a latex version in order to attract any attention at all.)

Apparently the collection was inspired by poor Marilyn Monroe, whom Lohan idolizes, and who must surely be turning in her grave like a piece of rotisserie chicken.
You see, the pair shown here are cheekily dubbed “Mr. President” leggings, and they retail for $132. What makes them so special? Why, the quilted leather KNEEPADS, of course.
Something tells me this isn’t a reference to JFK, but rather to what was going on in the Oval Office circa 1995-1996.
Need I say, “Eeewww?”
Granted, my mission is to smooth out rough edges, dispense etiquette advice, and perform taste makeovers, but I’m only one woman. Here’s hoping I can one day afford an assistant to help shoulder the staggering workload.
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